An Amazing Weekend

I am still in disbelief. Yes, even after 4 positive home tests and a great hCG level of 101 from a blood test, I still can't believe that the journey of "trying to conceive" has become one of "conceived." After waking up at about 5am on Sunday morning (yesterday), and not being able to go back to sleep, I did it! I took a pregnancy test. I was afraid to look at it, so I went downstairs to get some water and waited the proper amount of time. When I went back upstairs, I was really expecting for the results to be the same as they always were: nothing, nada, negative! I picked up the stick and there it was: 2 pink lines! I didn't know what to do. Thoughts raced through my mind. After a moment I decided to wake up Dan. Yeah, he wasn't too thrilled when I turned on the lights at 5:30 in the morning. But he got over it! There was no falling back to sleep for me. I got in the shower and went to Walmart to pick up some more tests. I took another one after just waiting a few hours, this time it was digital... I couldn't believe that a $5 test from Walmart was telling me I was "pregnant." So, I know these tests are very accurate and it's very unlikely to get a false negative (especially from 2 tests), but I took 2 more on Monday morning before going to my appointment to get blood work. The blood work had been scheduled, like it is for every month when going to a fertility specialist, for over a week. Finally, the doctor confirmed my 4 home tests. I am pregnant. I AM pregnant. I am PREGNANT. I AM PREGNANT!!!

Words can't express all the emotions right now. I feel so incredibly blessed by God. Through this journey of infertility I have gotten very close to other women facing the same diagnosis, many of whom are still waiting and trying to have a baby. I won't say for a moment that I am more blessed than any one of these women. My heart hurts for them. I don't know why God would choose to bring this blessing into my life and I feel very unworthy. My heart asks, "why me? What about all the other couples who long for children?" All I can do is put my trust in the Lord and thank Him for all that He has done in my life. God's miracles never cease to amaze me.

Thank you Lord for all that you've done and will do in the future. I place this child in your hands.