Nausea!

Well, along with the sheer exhaustion, nausea has now set in. It's actually a little reassuring that I am progressing along nicely into this pregnancy. I stopped at the gas station this morning on my way to work to get some ginger ale... they didn't have any!!! Can you believe that!? So I had to settle for 7-up.
As for that exhaustion: I didn't think it was possible to be more tired than I already was last week, but I feel almost helpless this week. Don't know what I would do without Dan being such a good helper. He's been doing a lot of the housework during the week. Work just wipes me out. I usually go home and take a nap right away and then wake up for dinner and watch a little T.V. and then I'm ready for bed again! All for the baby! I wouldn't have it any other way. Actually, on certain days when I don't feel as tired, I get a little worried. I am gladly welcoming the symptoms of pregnancy.
If you read the letter to my son/daughter, you know we are telling Dan's family about the pregnancy today. It's exciting to begin telling other people.

A Note to My Son or Daughter

Hi there little one! We got to see you for the first time on Tuesday. It was so exciting to see that your heart was beating and everything looked good. Mommy was a little nervous going into it, but after that ultrasound, I realized what a Great God we serve. You are a true miracle from the hand of God. Your Grandma and Grandpa Buxton were so happy to know that everything was good with you so far. Uncle Sean seemed so excited to hear that we saw your little heart beat. Everyone can't wait to meet you! We're going to tell your Dad's side of the family about you today. I know they will be just as excited as everyone else. I can't wait to see you again and I won't have to wait long. Tuesday we get to see you and hopefully HEAR your heart beating. I pray for you every day that God keeps you strong and healthy. More than that I have given you over to God's will. Whatever He has in store for your life, that's what we want for you. It's hard to remember that you are not mine, but just given to me to look after and take care of for a while. You belong to the Lord. Love you so much already and I know that love will only increase with each passing day.

Love,
Mommy

5 weeks, 3 days

Well, I'm still living in God's greatness. Whenever I think about the fact that I am pregnant I am overcome with emotion. Although I have to admit that I am very nervous at times still and I'm sure a lot of that won't go away until I am holding our baby in my arms. We do have our first ultrasound on Tuesday (St. Patrick's Day)! I am excited and hope we can see the heartbeat at that time. Although I know logically that it may take a little longer than 6 weeks to see a heartbeat, it would be very hard to leave the office without knowing for sure that our little one has a strong heartbeat.
As for symptoms: I am feeling very hungry most of the time and extremely tired. I don't want much of anything sweet though. Even cereal is a little on the sweet side to me. I have been wanting savory foods. Tomato soup, eggs with cheese, even salad have become my friends. Not sure if this is due to me really craving these foods or just knowing that they are good for the baby. I was feeling pretty crampy for a while (which is pretty normal in early pregnancy), but that seems to have subsided. And of course, the tell-tale sign that hormones are raging, my chest is very sore lately!
I guess that's all for today. I'm very anxious to know that all is well with this baby so we can tell the world!

An Amazing Weekend

I am still in disbelief. Yes, even after 4 positive home tests and a great hCG level of 101 from a blood test, I still can't believe that the journey of "trying to conceive" has become one of "conceived." After waking up at about 5am on Sunday morning (yesterday), and not being able to go back to sleep, I did it! I took a pregnancy test. I was afraid to look at it, so I went downstairs to get some water and waited the proper amount of time. When I went back upstairs, I was really expecting for the results to be the same as they always were: nothing, nada, negative! I picked up the stick and there it was: 2 pink lines! I didn't know what to do. Thoughts raced through my mind. After a moment I decided to wake up Dan. Yeah, he wasn't too thrilled when I turned on the lights at 5:30 in the morning. But he got over it! There was no falling back to sleep for me. I got in the shower and went to Walmart to pick up some more tests. I took another one after just waiting a few hours, this time it was digital... I couldn't believe that a $5 test from Walmart was telling me I was "pregnant." So, I know these tests are very accurate and it's very unlikely to get a false negative (especially from 2 tests), but I took 2 more on Monday morning before going to my appointment to get blood work. The blood work had been scheduled, like it is for every month when going to a fertility specialist, for over a week. Finally, the doctor confirmed my 4 home tests. I am pregnant. I AM pregnant. I am PREGNANT. I AM PREGNANT!!!

Words can't express all the emotions right now. I feel so incredibly blessed by God. Through this journey of infertility I have gotten very close to other women facing the same diagnosis, many of whom are still waiting and trying to have a baby. I won't say for a moment that I am more blessed than any one of these women. My heart hurts for them. I don't know why God would choose to bring this blessing into my life and I feel very unworthy. My heart asks, "why me? What about all the other couples who long for children?" All I can do is put my trust in the Lord and thank Him for all that He has done in my life. God's miracles never cease to amaze me.

Thank you Lord for all that you've done and will do in the future. I place this child in your hands.